Funspace-By Bluespace
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Bluespace's Fun Column ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Source:Bhavika >>Career at Help Desk can be fun > > > >Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. >Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? >Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be really stuck. >Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note >Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet...it's still on my desk... sorry . > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. >Customer: Is that your left or my left? > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you? >Male customer: Hello... I can't print. >Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and..... >Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it ! > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. >Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'. >I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the >monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it... > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Customer: I have problems printing in red ... >Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? >Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am? >Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket. > >>>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: And now hit F8. >Customer: It's not working. >Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? >Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening. > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. >Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? >Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. >Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. >Customer: OK >Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? >Customer: Yes >Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? >Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work! > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. >Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >A customer couldn't get on the Internet: - >Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password? >Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague do it. >Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was? >Customer: Five stars. > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use? >Customer: Netscape. >Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus program. >Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer. > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Customer: I have a huge problem. >A friend has placed screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears ! > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you? >Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. >Can You please tell me how long it will take before you can help me? >Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? >Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. >Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me? > >>>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- >Helpdesk: How may I help you? >Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. >Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem? >Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I get the circle around it? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (source: Richa) So this is how kids walk and talk KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL THINK FAST TEACHER: Why are you late? WEBSTER: Because of the sign. TEACHER: What sign WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." _____________ TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables! _____________ TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?" JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it! _____________ TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water? SARAH: H I J K L M N O!! TEACHER: What are you talking about? SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O! ______________ TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. GEORGE: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: George! ______________ TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WILLIE: Me! ______________ TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. ______________ TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I." ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." _____________ TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?" JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time." _____________ TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?" JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand." ______________ TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. _______________ TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog! ______________ TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? PUPIL: A teacher. (source : richa) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 25 Ways to Cope With Stress 1- Jam miniature marshmellows up your nose and sneeze them out See how many you can do at a time. 2- Use your Mastercard to pay for your Visa,and vice-versa. 3- Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on. 4-Make a list of things to do that you have already done. 5- When someone says "Have a nice day"tell them you have other plans. 6- Dance naked in front of your pets. 7- Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him-her to pre-school as if nothing is wrong. 8- Fill out your tax form using Roman Numerals. 9- Tape pictures of your boss on watermelons and launch them from high places. 10-Leaf through National Geographic"and draw underwear on the natives.. 11- Tattoo out for lunch"on your forehead. 12- Go shopping. Buy everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day. 13- Buy a subscription to Sleazoid Weekly"and send it to your boss'es husband or wife 14- Pay your electric bill in 5 cent pieces 15- Drive to work in reverse. 16- Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like. 17- Tell your boss to blow it out of your mule,and let him figure it out. 18- Sit naked on a shelled hard-boiled egg. 19- Polish your car with earwax. 20- Read the dictionary upsidedown and look for secret messages. 21- Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you. 22- Braid the hairs in each nostril. 23- Write a short story with alphabet soup. 24- Stare at people through gaps of a fork and pretend they are in jail. 25- Make up a langauge up ask people for directions in it. Submitted by ------- ThePoet --------------------------------------------------------------------------- why does sardarji open his lunch box while Walking on the road? To Check if he is going to work or Coming Back.(source:bhavika) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the similarity between Mobile & Marriage? . if you would have waited a little bit more, a new model should have arrived ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- The positive thinking poem. Little birdy in the sky, You look up and it shits in your eye. You don't mind and you don't cry, You just thank God that cows don't fly. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as: "Father, your daughter has been successful in BED." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station sends a telegram to his wife: "I wish you were here." The message received by the wife: "I wish you were her." ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Americans and Russians were competing who would go to the moon and build more on it. The minister comes to the American president: Mister President, the Russians have already launched their spaceship! President: Yes, yes, let them! A few days later: Mister President, the Russians have already landed on the moon! President: Yes, yes, calm down! In a week: Mister President, it's the Russians, the started painting the moon red! President: That's fine, just fine! In a month: Mister President, the Russians have painted half the moon red, we'd better do something too!! President: No, no, don't worry! In two months: Mister President, the Russians have finished painting the moon, the whole moon is red now!! President: That's great, now send our spaceship up there to write Coca-Cola on it! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums? The warning label. (source:computer jokes) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Windows Joke. There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy "Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies "You're in a plane." The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple" replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just a while away." (source:computer jokes) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------------- newly added ------------------------------------------------------------------------- (language-HINDI) Ek bar NASA ne 3sardar ko chand pe bheja yan uda magar aadhe raaste se vapas laut aya .sardaro ko pooche jane par unhone kaha ki aaj to amavas hai chaand to hoga hi nahi. --Meghna (language-HINDI) ---------------------------------- A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." ----sheetudeep.com ---------------------------------------------------- Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?" ----------------------------------- One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You, Daddy!" -------------------------------------- A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart, and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly, and backward. One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the truth, dear. Is this third child really mine?" "Yes, dear," replied the wife, "but the other two are not." sheetudeep.com ------------------------------------- One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looks at her mother and inquisitively asks, "Why are some of your hair white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hair turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Momma, how come all of grandma's hair are white?" --------------------------------------------------- A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous." There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squished up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door. The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you?" --------------------------------------------------- A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all; money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out..." ------------------------------------------------------- Q: How many Windows programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Four hundred and seventy-two. One to write WinGetLightBulbHandle, one to write WinQueryStatusLightBulb, one to write WinGetLightSwitchHandle... ------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: How many technical support personnel does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here, and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? OK. Now, exactly how dark is it? OK. There could be four or five things wrong... Have you tried the light switch? ----------------------------------------------------------- Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was glued to the first one. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. And why did the tree fall down? It thought it was an elephant. ---------------------------------------------------------- How many Microsoft technicians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. Two to hold the ladder and one to screw the bulb into the faucet. ---------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Have Any Jokes To Tell Plz POST It To Me Just By Clicking The Below Button You Can Write To Me At bluespace4u@yahoo.com bluespace44@yahoo.co.in Keep On Visiting Bluespace4u www.bluespace4u.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Funspace-By Bluespace
